How to cope with losing your job

How to cope with losing your job

Losing your job is no doubt one of the most stressful, overwhelming, and challenging times in your life. The thought of being unable to support your family, fulfilling your own needs and wants, watching your savings depleting by the day can adversely affect your mood, your motivation, and put a strain on your relationships. All these combined can become a severe cause of anxiety and depression. 

According to research, people who have recently lost a job, downsized, or they are in-between jobs, are more prone to mental health issues than those having a relatively stable life due to job security. The reason for this is losing a job is almost similar to losing your identity. It is as if you are no longer able to perceive yourself the way you used to and also the people around you stop associating you with a certain persona. By virtue of this, losing a job brings the kind of uncertainty in life that your future seems all dull, and falling into a dark abyss becomes inevitable. You really cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel! 

For times like these, when your self-esteem and self-confidence are beyond shattered, you are advised to take certain measures in order to get back on your feet, search for hope, and start pushing yourself again to find your purpose and identity.  The right coping techniques and developing some new, healthy habits can help you overcome these setbacks and assist you in focusing on what truly matters; You!

Here are some healthy mechanisms to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression that your unemployment has brought you:

  • Seek therapy: Talking about your feelings and what goes through your mind every day to a professional in the field of psychology/psychiatry is not only a way of catharsis but also makes you realize that it is okay to not be okay. You do not have to carry the burden of the entire world on your shoulders. Unemployment depression is real and must not be ignored at any cost. Also, there are so many platforms now offering online and in-person therapy sessions. Get help, get better!
  • Start meditating: As you may have heard before, meditating brings a myriad of eminent benefits in your life. One of them is increased focus. Meditation is proven to help you achieve peace of mind and in turn, enhance your focus on the tasks that you are set out to do. For instance, you are able to set new goals for yourself, the ones that are specific, measurable, achievable, time-bound, and realistic. Perhaps you are planning to write down a new cover letter. If you have started your day with meditation, your flow of ideas when you sit on your desk to work will be smoother and you will feel more productive. 
  • Learn new skills: While losing a job is the kind of adversity that triggers a lot of negative emotions, at the same time there is some silver lining as well; a lot of free time at your hands. You can use it to hone your existing skills and learn new ones. The job market is ever-changing and demand for people who are experts in a certain field is increasing by the day. So do not rely on the skills and capabilities you needed in your last job, rather equip yourself with those highly sought after by employers. 
  • Reach out to friends and family members for help: You must realize how important this is! Albeit being moody is a natural outcome of job loss and you may not help getting frustrated from time to time, however, it is crucial to speak to your friends and family members who have stood by you during the toughest of days when you felt lonely and desolated. Leaning onto your close ones is a great way to blow off some steam and lighten up your mood. 
  • Find who you are outside your work identity: As mentioned earlier, losing your job pretty much feels as if you have lost your identity as well. While that may be true in many cases, you must affirm yourself that you are more than your career. One of the ways can be to spend more time with your family, which can be truly wholesome. You may be able to identify yourself through the eyes of our children who see you as a loving father, or your spouse seeing you as a caring husband/wife, etc. Besides that, finding new hobbies like learning to play guitar or getting connected with your interests from the past will help you see things from a wider lens and make you realize that your career identity is only a small piece of the puzzle in your life. 

 

References:

4 science-backed ways to cope with depression if you've lost a job and feel like you also lost your sense of purpose. 
Business Insider. (2021). 
Retrieved from https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-deal-with-unemployment-depression-depressed-psychologist.

How to Deal With the Stress of Being Jobless During Coronavirus. Verywell Mind. (2021). 
Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/coronavirus-job-loss-4802632.

How to Deal With Job-Search Depression (Published 2019). Nytimes.com. (2021). 
Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/27/smarter-living/how-to-deal-with-job-search-depression.html.
Beyond Teaching Lessons in the Classroom

Beyond Teaching Lessons in the Classroom

Think about a teacher with whom you had the most memorable time during your school and college years. What qualities did they possess? I am sure it wasn’t just about delivering the lesson in the classroom effectively. You might remember a teacher for the experiences they shared, for a skill they might have taught you or for helping you through a hard time.

Most of the people who opt for a teaching career in Pakistan are unfortunately only concerned about delivering the lesson and waiting for their salary at the end of the month. But let me tell you something if you have succeeded in getting a job as a teacher then you have been blessed with an opportunity to instill the abilities, the characteristics, and the skills in the students which their future-self will thank you for. You are not just there to teach a lesson from a textbook but to shape your nation’s future and that’s a big responsibility.

Two years back my friend lost her mother who had been a teacher, a professor for many years. I was astounded to see a huge number of her students at her funeral who walked till the graveyard. They might or might not have remembered the classroom lessons she taught but they did remember the personality and the qualities she had which made them who they were today. So you see, that is how much more you have to be as a teacher than just delivering the classroom lessons effectively.

As a teacher, you should be able to understand your students’ emotional needs, create a healthy classroom environment where students respect each other’s differences. A teacher should be able to avoid punishments and instead use effective reinforcements for promoting healthy behaviors in their students. In times of difficulty when a student approaches, you should be able to help them see their situation from a different perspective. As a teacher you are your students’ guide, counselor and facilitator and your words and actions today will shape them for the years to come.
In the honor of recognizing teachers as counselors, facilitators and guidance providers we are conducting a workshop on The Teaching Journey: Creating Positive Relationship With Students. This workshop will provide a space for teachers to come together and discuss their issues.
The purpose of this training workshop is to highlight the importance of student-teacher relationship which is usually overlooked by teachers and the educational institutes. For the entire schooling course, the relationship between the student and the teacher is very essential as it promotes students to do well in their academics and also in their later lives.

Written by:

Aisha Idris

Psychologist

Optimism Might Kill You

Optimism Might Kill You

I was watching this Spanish television drama series ‘Lacasa de Papel’, ‘Money Heist’ in English, that I came across a beautiful, very appealing line. Tokyo, a character in the drama, as she narrates the story, at one point says:

“A thief is, by definition, an inveterate optimist”.

This gave me a somewhat different insight into one of the most emphasized terms in our daily lives, ‘optimism’. We think we should always be optimistic, hoping for the best. But here is the thing. You know why does a thief get caught? Because a thief is a habitual optimist. He always thinks that his plans will work out, everything will be alright even in desperate situations of potential peril. But that’s not how life works. The only certain thing about life is that it is uncertain. In life plans always do not succeed, things always do not go in the straight direction. Life can go off the rails at any moment. Life can be a bitch at times, trust me on this (and pardon my French). So, right at the moment when the thief is optimistically thinking that it’ll be alright and that he’ll get away with the heist, guess what happens, life turns ugly and the thief gets caught. His optimism kills him.

Instead of being ‘optimistic’ what we should really be is ‘realistic’. Optimism, in my opinion, is nothing more than just convincing yourself that “although it is raining heavily, maybe if you go outside you won’t get wet”. Admitting that ‘it’s over’ is a thousand times better than hoping ‘maybe it’ll get OK’.

The fantastic thing about being realistic is that you won’t be needing hope or optimism anymore. You’ll know exactly how things are and how life works, and you’ll cope with them.

By:

Sahal Yawar
BS Psychology
University Of Peshawar

 

 

Let Me Hold The Door for You

Let Me Hold The Door for You

To see with other’s lenses and to have their ears, so to feel with their hearts, their disasters, their failures, their pains… seems hard but isn’t impossible.

In today’s selfish world, what a person wants from another person is just “empathy”… a feeling of being understood without being judged. Empathy is the ability of an individual to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing, the capacity to place ourselves in another person`s position.

The term Empathy was first presented by Carl Rogers, an eminent figure of Humanism, as an essential feature of client-centred Therapy. He defines Empathy as an ability of the therapist to perceive the client’s words within the client’s context, his frame of reference, to walk a mile in the client’s shoes.

People might get confused between empathy and sympathy thinking that both can be used interchangeably. But there are important differences. Sympathy means your feelings of pity for someone`s misfit. It’s about support and care. We may feel genuinely sorry but this doesn’t mean we necessarily understand what they are going through.

While empathy involves a cognitive component of your efforts to understand someone`s emotional experiences and is based on an unspoken understanding. We can co-experience the feelings of another person without being necessarily having to communicate with them.

Empathy is essential in daily life as well. It helps to maintain quality relationships. It’s essential for understanding, communication and relationship building in everyday life as well as in clinical settings because

  • Empathy helps us to build connections with acquaintances.
  • It allows us to establish trust in relationships
  • Empathy helps us to understand and anticipate others’ behaviours.
  • Empathy supports us in making better decisions

So, if you want to be empathetic in daily life consider the following

  • Put aside your personal viewpoints and try to see things from others’ perspective
  • Authenticate the other person’s viewpoint
  • Listen carefully without judgment
  • Examine your attitude
  • Put aside your biases, prejudices and also your sympathies. Be neutral

Empathy is like giving someone a psychological hug. Don’t hesitate, do even the least that you can…

I may have never walked

In your shoes

But I can see

Your soles are warn

Your strength is torn

Under the weight of a story

I’ve never lived before

Let me hold the door for you

After all, you’ve walked through

It is the least I can do 

~ Morgan Harper Nichols

By:

Zartasha Munawar

Lecturer in Psychology

GGDC Sarae Saleh, Haripur

Concrete Confidence and Super Self-esteem

Concrete Confidence and Super Self-esteem

The secret behind the success is no doubt, Confidence. Probably most people in this universe has some kind of confidence related concerns. Some people are overconfident about their skills and some are the victims of the lack of confidence, but the point is there are very few who know the correct use of confidence in particular situations.
Today, being a socialized person is the most important thing for success, and for the good interaction, it is obvious that confidence plays a vital role. The absence of confidence would have a negative impact on your Self-Esteem. Low level of Self-Esteem could underestimate you for your skills, achievements, actions and overall success. In addition, you will become more pessimistic related to yourself.
So, can you identify some of the confidence and self-esteem related issues within yourself? Do you wanna live successful and relaxed? Do you want to impress people around you and remove your inferiority complex? If you really want to get rid of these problems, here are some tips for you :

Be graceful
First and the most important thing to impress the people around you is your appearance, the reason is “the first impression is the last impression”. Try to be well dressed and wear according to the right situation. For instance, for office, formal dress similarly in parties, wear casual or party dress. Your physical appearance matters but also your mental state. You should be mentally charged for your daily tasks. It would make a good impression on others related to your work and your attitude towards your work.

Get Inspiration
Observe confident and successful people’s attitude. Try to get inspirations from their lifestyle. Notice their gestures, the way of conversation and how they achieved successful life outcomes. Observe that body language has a high impact on a person himself plus on others, that’s why add and practice confident body language styles in your routine. A drooping shoulder style would give the impression of low confidence while a confident posture can be with open arms, wide shoulders and straight head.

Do something different:
Do something unique, which is difficult for you, break a task and take a good start on it, eventually you will master it. When you would accomplish the task which was once difficult for you, your self-esteem and your confidence level will become stronger and you would eventually feel accomplished.

Improve your skills:
Everyone has some interests, as someone is good at painting, on the other hand, someone is a master of mathematics and so on. Be aware of your strengths, powers and expertise. Always try to polish your skills, it will lead you towards your destination and success.

Do Positive Self Talk:
Add at least 5 minutes of positive self-talk on your routine daily. Use encouraging words for yourself, which motivate you for the better. You can add positive affirmations to a list of self-talk you do to yourself. Some instances of such affirmations are: I’m good at the task in my hand, I’m proud of myself, I’m a hard worker, I’m capable and strong.
Follow the above-mentioned tips for your personality development and a better start for your future.

 

Written by:

Mehwish Latif,

M.A in Educational Psychologist from University of Karachi.

Trainee member at Consult A Psychologist.

 

Edited By:

Zarish Haq

Administrative Unit

Consult A Psychologist

Build your Self-Confidence

Build your Self-Confidence

Make your life successful and happier ….

Before we step on to the ladder of confidence building, it is very important to know what self-confidence actually means and how important is it in the way to success? to get this right path, it is very important to differentiate between how a self-confident person looks like compared to a person who lacks confidence. You can observe this from a person’s thoughts and behaviors. Such as,
A self-confident person:

  • Believes in self.
  • Follows his dreams.
  • Feels proud of his achievements.
  • Thinks positive in all circumstances.
  • Appears happy
  • Knows his strengths and powers
  • Has faith in the positive outcomes of whatever he does
  • Loves his work
  • Shows interest in whatever he does
  • Keeps himself busy
  • Works hard
  • Focuses on his goal attainment despite others’ discouragement
  • Others want to be like him

Without confidence a person is:

  • Easily stressed out
  • Easily withdraws
  • Has lots of incomplete assignments at hand all the time
  • Thinks that situations are hectic
  • Can’t ignore distractions
  • Focuses on small parts of success
  • Has negative self-talk
  • Doesn’t believe in his abilities

Above mentioned perspectives give you the idea of what behaviors you need to adopt and what to leave behind if you want to look confident. Here are some tips and techniques to help you become self-confident and successful.
Remember:

  • When you follow your interests, you would be able to put more efforts, therefore, choose tasks you feel more interested in and when you don’t have any choice over tasks then intentionally develop an interest in whatever you do.
  • Nobody knows your inner will power even most of the time you don’t know about your own abilities. Therefore, always be explorative about your strengths. To know your abilities, you have to focus on both your strengths and weaknesses. The next step would be to highlight your strengths and torn the paper of your weakness. Never underestimate your abilities.
  • Find out your achievements you have in your whole life, even good marks at your school at least in one subject is an achievement. When you are bargaining at the shop and you get your desired suit. Yes, it is your achievement. Congratulations! you got a convincing power. Oh, my God you are a very good buyer or seller, so why do not you join a marketing career?
  • Find out what you want to achieve in life. Whether it is money, fame, or acceptance among your family members. Keep yourself busy to achieve goals whatever comes your way. Enhance your skills related to your goals like how to enhance performance at a job or business and effective communication skills with family etc. Make new friends and build a social circle. Focus on your targets and when you achieve a smaller chunk of the goal, celebrate your success and share it with people around you.
  • Think positive and focus on the brighter side of the picture. Use positive self-talk and affirmations like Yes, I can, I can do it, it’s easy for me, I choose to do it, I decide upon what I do not others, I’m strong, I’m proud of myself, I believe in my will power, etc.
  • Engage yourself in activities you like most. It can be some music, yoga, mindfulness activities or anything you enjoy to do. Eat healthily, sleep well, enjoy romance, go into nature, and do whatever makes you happy.

Yes, it is you confident to know that you are able to do whatever life throws at you.

Just be yourself, you are wonderful!

 

Written by:

Mehwish Latif
Masters in Educational Psychology,
University of Karachi,
Trainee at Consult A Psychologist

Edited By: 

Mehwish Mursaleen

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